Love Is What Remains

This goes out to you, fandombitches. I actually wasn't going to post this story. I wrote it last night at Sara's request, and I'm kind of sick to my stomach about it, and it disturbs me. I dislike -writing- rape & non-con & anger & pain and things, because those things hurt to imagine too vividly.

They're not sparkly or fun or sexy when you actually have to immerse yourself in them to write, but that doesn't mean they're not good and worthwhile things to write about, because if we just wrote about the pretty, we would allow ourselves to forget that the world isn't like that. So yes. I'm pretty disturbed by this story and by myself, when writing it. But then, I'm not 13, and I imagine I wouldn't have wanted to read this then... though I wrote my first rape-fic when I was 15, and was disturbed then too. But something about the subject wouldn't let go, I guess. It's a demon, and even when I think I can ignore it, it doesn't ignore me, so.

( Fic - `As Good As He Got' - NC-17 - H/D - Non-con, Rape, Violence, disturbing subject matter. Discretion advised. )

    so yes, now i come to my actual -fic-. this is my first sirius/remus and may be my last. i wrote it in response to the fuh-q-fest challenge before realizing that particular challenge was closed-- to wit, `sirius and remus babysit infant harry', ehehehe. it amuses me (who knows why-- obviously i have issues).
    it doesn't aspire to anything, and that's why it was so easy to write. actually letting yourself -say- things takes a lot out of one (in my experience), and just blabbering on like a silly goose is easier than breathing. so basically, i suck, go read aja & ivy >:D<

( that said.... here be fic: `Learning Curves' - Sirius/Remus - NC17 humor/smut, v. lame and stupid, but that's the fun of it, no? although, if anyone who reads s/r actually reads this, i would muchly appreciate being told how and where i messed up, characterization-wise-- i would bake you donuts. no, really )

i don't know -why- the hell i turned it into a ficlet, but there you go. the muse is fickle. admittedly, they seem to be more sleepy than normal, but what the hell, -i'm- more sleepy than normal, and i think it shows >:D<

but still. semi-realistic (i hope!) boy-smut. rejoice. H/D though. heh. i'd have to actually -try-, to write anything else ;)
    and wah, am i frighteningly prolific lately, or what? ><;;

( `morning run' - yah, yah, bad title, but hey, it's the smut that counts, right? - H/D, NC-17, ficlet. )

h/d kissing drabble, no reason or rhyme whatsoever, except that i'd read several first-kiss-challenge fics (only a couple, really, as of yet), and i was having visions, and just. i'm sleepy and not thinking straight and it probably makes no sense for all i know, & i bet there are typos, but i don't care and enough disclaimers.

( here, then. `big deal' )