mildlunacy: (Default)
This goes out to you, [livejournal.com profile] fandombitches. I actually wasn't going to post this story. I wrote it last night at Sara's request, and I'm kind of sick to my stomach about it, and it disturbs me. I dislike -writing- rape & non-con & anger & pain and things, because those things hurt to imagine too vividly.

They're not sparkly or fun or sexy when you actually have to immerse yourself in them to write, but that doesn't mean they're not good and worthwhile things to write about, because if we just wrote about the pretty, we would allow ourselves to forget that the world isn't like that. So yes. I'm pretty disturbed by this story and by myself, when writing it. But then, I'm not 13, and I imagine I wouldn't have wanted to read this then... though I wrote my first rape-fic when I was 15, and was disturbed then too. But something about the subject wouldn't let go, I guess. It's a demon, and even when I think I can ignore it, it doesn't ignore me, so.

Fic - `As Good As He Got' - NC-17 - H/D - Non-con, Rape, Violence, disturbing subject matter. Discretion advised. )
mildlunacy: (Default)
anyway... i was like-- i'm not reading anyone's fanfic, because i need to study. i'm not replying in any depth, because i need to study. i'm not, i'm not....

and then this first sentence came into my head and it -tortured- me until i wrote it, and i wasn't going to post it (because, gah, this has no right to live, and it sucks, and i just-- well-- it has no excuses). but anyway. writing non-con is an issue for me, because i think it's such a difficult thing to tackle, and because i can't pretend i can do it justice, and because non-con pr0n is... well... it's just difficult, is all.

and i suppose it's because it's difficult that i want to know just how i've failed, even though this isn't betaed and... well. i mean, this is a short fic, and who cares, anyway, and i know it has no "plot", and. but i don't think a plot would make it that much more palatable to me, so. i dunno. i have issues. this probably sucks.

but, sara wanted me to write non-con, and obviously i can't. sigh.

`linger' - H/D - probably NC-17, probably not recommended reading for pretty much anyone, and not recommended writing for -me-, and i should really get going to class, so blah. )

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the artist formerly known as lunacy

October 2012

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